


Clown Town

by satan_in_trouble



Series: homestuck [7]
Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fuck the epilogues, Humor, M/M, Memes, Not Canon Compliant - The Homestuck Epilogues, Reader Is Thirsty, Reader is gender neutral, Roxy is a Little Shit, Trans Dave Strider, au where trolls live on earth but no sburb, chat fic, marvus is a sexy bastard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23515015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satan_in_trouble/pseuds/satan_in_trouble
Summary: CANCERMAN: I DO NOT WANT THE FUCKING CLOWN GETTING HORNYCANCERMAN: NO HORNY CLOWNS, YOU HEAR ME?CANCERMAN: AND FOR THAT MATTER NO ONE GETTING HORNY /FOR/ CLOWNS---chat fic time
Relationships: Aradia Megido & Dave Strider, Aradia Megido/Terezi Pyrope, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara/Reader, Marvus Xoloto/Reader, Nepeta Leijon/Aradia Megido/Terezi Pyrope, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Roxy Lalonde/Marvus Xoloto, Sollux Captor & Karkat Vantas
Series: homestuck [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1689196
Comments: 9
Kudos: 98





	1. READER: OPEN MEATIOR MEN CHAT

**Author's Note:**

> usernames: (theres multiple chats btw)
> 
> karkat: CANCERMAN, asshole therapist  
> dave: beatmaster69, beatmaster420  
> rose: I Fucked Your Mom, sapphicwitch, tfw wife  
> terezi: tongue tricks, iswearitwasntcokeitwaschalk  
> gamzee: HIGHblood, fridge boy  
> Roxy: supercodplayer1995, i fucked ur sister  
> sollux: bees on my dick  
> Aradia: sans  
> Marvus: aliveahahafuck  
> Reader: schlim schady, Big Kid Now  
> Kanaya: Momma Green

\--- OPEN CHAT ---

schlim schady: im awake gm  
CANCERMAN: IT’S FUCKING  
CANCERMAN: THREE IN THE HUMAN AFTERNOON  
beatmaster69: dude you’ve lived here for years you don't need to specify the human part  
CANCERMAN: SHUT UP  
schlim schady: let me live  
I Fucked Your Mom: If you’re sleeping so late in the day, you’re wasting your life away anyway.  
CANCERMAN: THANK GOD ROSE HAS COMMON SENSE  
schlim schady: fuck common sense i will sleep however much i want  
tongue tricks: 1 4GR33 SL33P1NG 4T N1GHT 1S NOT TH4T 1MPORT4NT  
tongue tricks: 1 US3D TO SL33P 1N OFT3N WH3N 1 W4S 4BSORB3D BY 4N 4CT1V1TY  
beatmaster69: that activity being bofa  
tongue tricks: Y3S 1ND33D  
CANCERMAN: …  
CANCERMAN: DAVE ITS BEEN 239 TIMES YOUVE DONE THIS IVE ALREADY FALLEN FOR IT 238 TIMES  
HIGHblood: wHaTs BoFa  
CANCERMAN: GOG FUCKING DAMMIT GREAT NOW IM NEVER GONNA HEAR THE END OF THIS BULLSHIT MEME  
beatmaster69: holy shit i forgot he forgets when i do that  
beatmaster69: bofa deez nuts  
HIGHblood: hAhA i ReMeMbErEd, I jUsT lIkE iT  
beatmaster69: that somehow ruined the joke  
tongue tricks: 4ND SO TH3 PR4NKST3R B3COM3S TH3 PR4NKED >:]  
schlim schady: watching this is like watching a panda give birth on one of those zoo cams, worst cam girl ive ever seen  
CANCERMAN: PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP  
I Fucked Your Mom: Do you often watch cam girls?  
schlim schady: sometimes i get lonely  
schlim schady: i like to pretend they're my friends  
schlim schady: look you may not appreciate it but those girls work hard, give them some respect  
I Fucked Your Mom: That’s not it at all. I understand cam girl shows can be costly, and you have very little spare money whenever I ask you to pay for things.  
schlim schady: ok you caught me i watch screen recordings  
schlim schady: it’s like asmr but sexy  
CANCERMAN: CAN WE CHANGE TOPICS  
HIGHblood: NaH wAiT tHiS pLoTs GeTtInG sPiCy  
CANCERMAN: I DO NOT WANT THE FUCKING CLOWN GETTING HORNY  
CANCERMAN: NO HORNY CLOWNS, YOU HEAR ME?  
CANCERMAN: AND FOR THAT MATTER NO ONE GETTING HORNY /FOR/ CLOWNS  
HIGHblood: aW sHiT tHaTs NoT fAiR  
HIGHblood: i GoT a FrIeNd WhO pEoPlE gEt ReAl HoRnEd Up FoR  
schlim schady: friend??? they cute???????  
HIGHblood: i SuPpOsE  
HIGHblood: hE mAkEs MuSiC  
schlim schady: gold digger moments  
I Fucked Your Mom: How do you know if he’s rich? He could just make music on SoundCloud, like Dave.  
schlim schady: cuz listen, he knows gamzee and i doubt gamzee knows THAT many losers  
CANCERMAN: HE KNOWS YOU AND DAVE  
beatmaster69: karkat he knows you too  
schlim schady: dave’s a loser and im just your local whore  
tongue tricks: W41T, G4MZ33, 1S TH1S TH3 FR13ND WHO G4VE YOU CONC3RT T1CK3TS ONC3 >:?  
HIGHblood: fUcK yEaH iT iS  
schlim schady: were they  
schlim schady: were they tickets to HIS concert???  
HIGHblood: yEaH  
tongue tricks: H3 W4SN’T B4D, 4CTU4LLY  
tongue tricks: 1 DON’T USU4LLY L1K3 SL4M BUT H3 SOUND3D PR3TTY GOOD  
schlim schady: holy fuck i wanna meet him  
schlim schady: true gold digger timez  
beatmaster69: a music man you say :eyeballs:  
beatmaster69: can he trump my 10 loyal soundcloud followers  
beatmaster69: raging crowds at a concert doesnt mean shit compared to loyal listeners  
CANCERMAN: DAVE THOSE 10 LOYAL FOLLOWERS ARE US AND YOUR BRO THAT MAKES YOU SING CHRISTIAN RAP ‘IRONICALLY’  
beatmaster69: dirk is a man of the lord i respect his wishes  
I Fucked Your Mom: Didn’t he put his rainbow dash figurine in a jar and-  
I Fucked Your Mom: Allow me to not continue speaking.  
beatmaster69: yeah he did but it was a joke  
tongue tricks: D4V3 H3 F1LL3D TH3 J4R H4LFW4Y  
beatmaster69: hes committed to his jokes  
schlim schady: ANYWAY back to this friend of gamzees  
schlim schady: what’s his nameee??  
HIGHblood: mArVuS  
schlim schady: aint that the guy from detroit become human  
CANCERMAN: THATS MARKUS AND I HATE YOU  
HIGHblood: hAhA nAw HeS a TrOlL  
schlim schady: what blood type  
CANCERMAN: WAIT  
CANCERMAN: DID YOU JUST ASK  
CANCERMAN: WHAT /BLOOD TYPE/?  
CANCERMAN: DOES THAT MATTER TO YOU  
schlim schady: i just want to get an idea of how he may look  
CANCERMAN: BY ASKING FOR PERSONAL INFORMATION THAT IS ESSENTIALLY USELESS ON YOUR PLANET?  
CANCERMAN: AREN’T YOU WORRIED THAT’S, I DON'T KNOW, FUCKING XENOPHOBIC?  
HIGHblood: hE’s A pUrPlE mOtHeRfUcKeR  
HIGHblood: LiKe mE :o)  
schlim schady: see karkat im not a xenophobe youre just butthurt  
CANCERMAN: NO  
CANCERMAN: NONONONONO  
CANCERMAN: IM NOT HAVING TWO NUTCASES IN THIS CHAT WHEN ITS ALREADY WAY TOO FUCKING HARD TO DEAL WITH ONLY ONE  
beatmaster69: dude you deal with yourself all the time shouldn't you be used to it  
beatmaster69: ohhh burn  
tongue tricks: H3H3H3H3  
CANCERMAN: I WILL SLAP YOU NEXT TIME I SEE YOU  
HIGHblood: iM gOnNa AdD hIm In  
CANCERMAN: NO  
schlim schady: i am unbelievably excited  
I Fucked Your Mom: Hopefully this new addition doesn’t cause too much turmoil. Karkat may blow a blood vessel.  


HIGHblood has added aliveahahafuck

CANCERMAN: I AM ALREADY GETTING A BAD FEELING HERE  
CANCERMAN: THE LAST THING I WANT IS ANOTHER FUCKING ‘RAPPER’ OR CLOWN  
beatmaster69: woah wait whats so bad about having rap game  
CANCERMAN: NOTHING, ITS JUST THAT YOU DON'T HAVE ANY ‘RAP GAME’  
schlim schady: OHHHHHHH GET BENT  
HIGHblood: hAhA  
aliveahahafuck: dam  
aliveahahafuck: yall sum motherfxxxn sav a ges  
tongue tricks: 1 C4NNOT STR3SS HOW 3CX1T3D 1 4M TO H4V3 YOU H3R3  
aliveahahafuck: o yea whyz dat  
tongue tricks: 1 W4NT TO S33 HOW MUCH (Y/N) S1MPS FOR YOU  
beatmaster69: aw shit rezi don't expose them  
schlim schady: this is such slander  
schlim schady: such horrible insult to my character  
schlim schady: in fact, one might go as far as to call it XENOPHOBIA  
CANCERMAN: I AM COMING TO YOUR HOUSE  
CANCERMAN: AND I AM GOING TO BEAT YOU SENSELESS  
schlim schady: kinky  
beatmaster69: kinky  
tongue tricks: K1NKY  
I Fucked Your Mom: Kinky.  
aliveahahafuck: kinky  
CANCERMAN: I HATE MY LIFE  
CANCERMAN: SOMEHOW GAMZEE IS MY FAVORITE NOW  
HIGHblood: kInKy

CANCERMAN has gone offline

HIGHblood: Aw ShIt DiD i Do ThAt?  
I Fucked Your Mom: Karkat is just sensitive to being ganged up on.  
beatmaster69: yeah he hates gang bangs  
tongue tricks: K4RKL3S 1S JUST 4 P1SSB4BY  
schlim schady: okay okay karkat being a little stupid twink aside  
schlim schady: i would like to know more about this new addition to Meatior Men  
HIGHblood: aW fUcK yEaH  
HIGHblood: mArVuS bRo ThE sTaGe Is YoUrS  
aliveahahafuck: when isnt it lmao  
aliveahahafuck: idk what yall buddiez wants to kno  
schlim schady: how tall are you  
I Fucked Your Mom: Subtle.  
aliveahahafuck: 6’7  
schlim schady: holy fuck  
beatmaster69: are you horny again now  
schlim schady: shut up im just……. impressed  
I Fucked Your Mom: That’s one word for it, huh?  
aliveahahafuck: lmao yea i b tall n shizz  
tongue tricks: YOUR N4M3 1S M4RVUS, R1GHT  
aliveahahafuck: yea buddy im marvus xoloto  
beatmaster69: gamzee said you do music  
aliveahahafuck: aw shizz yea i b doing music  
beatmaster69: yeah you may do music but do you think you can surpass me in fame  
aliveahahafuck: aw fxxx homie idk  
aliveahahafuck: u mite be famouz or sum  
aliveahahafuck: but can u sell out in 1 hr  
beatmaster69: uh i  
beatmaster69: have never had a concert  
aliveahahafuck: wll shizz that jus answers ur question ;o)  
tongue tricks: G3T R3KT STOOP1D  
beatmaster69: shut up im working on it  
aliveahahafuck: aw don get so doooown lil buddy  
aliveahahafuck: 1 day ur gon hav allll of this biz jus wait  
beatmaster69: somehow i feel totally reassured  
HIGHblood: mArVbRo Is ReAl CoOl  
aliveahahafuck: hey bro jus gotz to b cool 4 the fanz  
I Fucked Your Mom: Actually, I don’t know that Dave listens to your music.  
aliveahahafuck: wait  
aliveahahafuck: gamz u invited me cuz these were fanz o mine  
HIGHblood: DiD i SaY tHaT  
HIGHblood: sHiT bRo Im SoRrY  
aliveahahafuck: aw nah itz cool  
aliveahahafuck: jus means we can b friends n shizz  
aliveahahafuck: dont gotta worry abt sum freaky fans u kno  
tongue tricks: 1 H4V3 B33N TO ON3 OF YOUR CONC3RTS 4CTU4LLY  
tongue tricks: G4MZ33 TOOK M3  
aliveahahafuck: aw dam fo real?  
tongue tricks: Y34H 1 DONT GO TO M4NY CONC3RTS CUZ MY 34RS WOULD G3T R3KT  
tongue tricks: BUT 1 L1K3D YOURS  
aliveahahafuck: dang thas dope  
aliveahahafuck: allllways nice 2 heer ppl like my beats  
I Fucked Your Mom: I’ll have to listen to one of your works, Marvus.  
I Fucked Your Mom: Terezi is picky so it must be worth a try to indulge myself.  
aliveahahafuck: y thanccz sis  
I Fucked Your Mom: Looking you up, you have quite the following.  
beatmaster69: I admire the grind one music man to another  
HIGHblood: ToLd YaLl He WaS cOoL  
schlim schady: sorry i went afk i was looking you up marvus  
schlim schady: your music kinda hits doe  
aliveahahafuck: yall be hypin me up n shizz :o) got me all happy n wut not

\--- DM: (y/n), Terezi Pyrope --

(y/n): TEREZI  
Terezi: YO WH4T  
Terezi: WH4TS UP  
(y/n): REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I LOOKED MARVUS UP  
Terezi: D1DNT YOU JUST DO TH4T  
Terezi: NO SH1T 1 R3M3MB3R  
(y/n): shut up  
(y/n): WHY DIDNT YOU WARN ME HES HOT  
Terezi: YOU DUMBSH1T 1 C4NT S33  
Terezi: LOOKS DONT H4V3 4 S3NS3 OF M34N1NG TO ME  
Terezi: 4ND 1 COULDNT SM3LL H1M OV3R TH3 SW34TY DOUCH3B4G N3XT TO ME  
(y/n): gamzee???? hes gotten better abt hygiene  
Terezi: NO  
Terezi: G4MZ33 SM3LLS B3TTER  
Terezi: WHO3V3R 1T W4S, TH3Y R34K3D  
(y/n): ew lmao  
(y/n): BUT LISTEN  
(y/n): LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW  
(y/n): MARVUS IS  
(y/n): WITHOUT A DOUBT  
(y/n): ONE OF THE SEXIEST THINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN  
(y/n): HOLY SHIT  
(y/n): this man looks like he was carved by the messiahs  
Terezi: D4MN  
Terezi: 1N 4LL MY Y34RS  
Terezi: 1 H4V3 N3V3R S33N YOU TH1S TH1RSTY  
(y/n): terezi hes so fucking hot  
(y/n): like hes got tons of soft looking hair  
(y/n): and hes got SHARP teeth  
(y/n): which makes sense bc hes a purpleblood but whatever  
(y/n): and his JAWLINE???  
(y/n): AND HIS TONGUE?????????  
(y/n): did you know he sticks his tongue out in photos as like his thing  
(y/n): its gonna make me nut  
Terezi: WHY DONT YOU T3LL H1M TH1S BULLSH1T  
Terezi: NOW TH4T YOU KNOW H1M 4ND SH1T  
(y/n): are you dumb  
(y/n): don't you have two girlfriends how tf are you this DENSE in matters of LOVE  
(y/n): if i tell him this someones gonna find out and make fun of me for being a clownfucker again  
(y/n): also it might make shit awkward  
Terezi: HON3STLY  
Terezi: YOUR3 TH3 ON3 B31NG DUMB H3R3  
Terezi: H4V3 YOU 3V3N LOOK3D 4T TH3 W4Y H3 T4LKS???  
Terezi: TH4T M4N KNOWS H3S HOT W1THOUT YOU T3LL1NG H1M  
(y/n): what if he thinks im just a fan  
(y/n): all his fans get like. crazy thirsty in his post comments  
Terezi: W3LL G1V3N YOU S41D YOU JUST NOW LOOK3D H1M UP 4ND YOU W3R3 4SK1NG WHO H3 W4S…  
Terezi: 1 DOUBT H3D B3 TH4T DUMB 4S TO NOT S33 YOUR3 NOT JUST SOM3 F4N  
(y/n): whatever i am going to keep it cool  
(y/n): keep it chill  
(y/n): also we should probs check out whats going on in the chat bc i feel like its been suspiciously since we spoke in there  
(y/n): might get accused of scheming yknow  
Terezi: F1N3  
Terezi: BUT 1 3XP3CT YOU TO T3LL H1M  
(y/n): EVENTUALLY rn just let me thirst in peace

\--- Chat: Meatior Men ---

CANCERMAN: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT  
CANCERMAN: MUSTARD IS A CONDIMENT FOR FOOD  
CANCERMAN: NOT YOUR BODY  
beatmaster69: sometimes a man wants to drizzle his body in the yellow sauce  
I Fucked Your Mom: I’m surprised you didn’t make a joke about ‘your hot dog’.  
beatmaster69: man thats cheap shit  
beatmaster69: i try to make my jokes less predictable  
aliveahahafuck: ive done sum wack shizz for album coverz  
schlim schady: oh yeah? like what?  
CANCERMAN: OH YOU RETURN TO THE CONVERSATION JUST AS HE SPEAKS. INTERESTING.  
schlim schady: shut your crab ass up i didnt ask you to comment on my contributions to the chat  
aliveahahafuck: lmao yea man let em live  
CANCERMAN: YOURE ALL DELUSIONAL  
I Fucked Your Mom: Karkat there is no need to get pissy.  
schlim schady: when isnt he pissy lol  
schlim schady: burn  
HIGHblood: kArBrO tHeRe AiNt No NeEd To GeT aLl Up On ThEiR cAsE  
aliveahahafuck: now now peeps lez get bak on trak  
aliveahahafuck: i forgotz who asked bout my coverz  
schlim schady: i did :)  
aliveahahafuck: aw yea  
aliveahahafuck: once i decided 2 use a huge mf bukket  
aliveahahafuck: pro voc a TIVE  
aliveahahafuck: i asked to wear one of those thingz da romans wore  
aliveahahafuck: u kno da sheet drezzez  
I Fucked Your Mom: A toga?  
aliveahahafuck: aw yea that thang  
aliveahahafuck: wuz REAL hot u feel me  
schlim schady: go on :eyeballs:  
tongue tricks: ST4Y1NG SUBTL3 HUH  
schlim schady: silence wench  
tongue tricks: H3H3H3H3 >:]  
HIGHblood: aW dAmN yAlL  
HIGHblood: i GoTtA gO  
HIGHblood: kArBrO aNd I aRe GoNnA hAnG oUt  
schlim schady: bye gam :) have fun  
CANCERMAN: BYE FUCKERS  
schlim schady: get bent karkat

CANCERMAN has gone offline

HIGHblood has gone offline

tongue tricks: 1 4CTU4LLY GOTT4 GO TOO  
tongue tricks: TH3S3 M4RK3RS 4R3NT GONNA SN1FF TH3MS3LV3S  
beatmaster69: terezi wont that like  
beatmaster69: fuck up your brain  
tongue tricks: WH4T BR41N >:]  
beatmaster69: fair enough  
beatmaster69: if aradia's around tell her i said hi  
tongue tricks: OF COURS3  
I Fucked Your Mom: Time player solidity?  
beatmaster69: yeah  
beatmaster69: also aradia's just cool  
tongue tricks: 1LL T3LL H3R YOU S41D H1  
tongue tricks: BY3 BY3

tongue tricks has gone offline

beatmaster69: i gotta go jack off  
I Fucked Your Mom: Sometimes I wish we weren’t related.  
schlim schady: don't be bitter he's the cool one  
beatmaster69: now that the loudmouth isnt here i can do what i want  
beatmaster69: like this  
beatmaster69: penis  
I Fucked Your Mom: Dave I’m afraid I’ve been scandalized. I’ll have to leave.  
beatmaster69: haha yeah okay  
beatmaster69: bye rap gang

beatmaster69 has gone offline

I Fucked Your Mom has gone offline

aliveahahafuck: n so there wuz 2  
schlim schady: haha yeahhh  
aliveahahafuck: i met evry1 else  
aliveahahafuck: but i dunno ur name :o)  
schlim schady: oh ! im (y/n) (l/n)  
aliveahahafuck: well nice 2 meet u  
aliveahahafuck: yknow since it b jus the 2 of us  
aliveahahafuck: think it would b best jus 2 take this is dmz  
schlim schady: :flushed: oh yeah sure  
aliveahahafuck: see ya in my dmz then ;o)


	2. READER: OPEN CHILL VIBES ONLY CHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw. dirk is mylittlehomie

——OPEN CHAT——

mylittlehomie: I hate myself so much right now.  
bees on my dick: gang gang  
supercodplayer1995: whats new lol  
mylittlehomie: I am in the middle of building a robot.  
mylittlehomie: And I screwed his head on backwards.  
bees on my dick: how do you me22 up 2o badly  
sans: heh. hey kid.  
mylittlehomie: Aradia, now isn’t the time for your meta shenanigans.  
mylittlehomie: I am actually very frustrated.  
mylittlehomie: Now I have to make sure I didn’t mess up in other parts of its body  
mylittlehomie: Keep in mind, I built most of this thing at 3 in the morning while on some mildly spiked orange juice.  
mylittlehomie: and Midquil.  
supercodplayer1995: wh at the fuck is midquill lamo??  
mylittlehomie: Dayquil mixed with Nyquil.  
mylittlehomie: It’s like purgatory, but daylight savings.  
sapphicwitch: Isn’t that horrible for your body?  
Momma Green: And Must Taste Awful  
Mylittlehomie: Yes, and yes.  
bees on my dick: lmao niice  
Momma Green: Sollux Might I Remind You The Human Body Works Differently Than Ours And Thus Horrible Habits Like This Should Not Be Encouraged.  
bees on my dick: ur mom  
sans: get nae-naed :fr0g:  
sapphicwitch: It is always pleasant to see Aradia joining in on jokes, however.  
sans: whos aradia?  
Sans: i’m the cool skeleton sans kid  
supercodplayer1995: haha lol  
bees on my dick: ne22?  
mylittlehomie: Can we get back to my frustrations, now?  
Bees on my dick: diirk youre faiiliing to realiize why we are doiing thii2  
Bees on my dick: iits cause we dont care  
sans: i care kid  
mylittlehomie: That is absolutely no consolation.  
sans: heh. nice joke, kid  
Momma Green: Aradia Who Are You Pretending To Be Again  
Momma Green: And Please Answer Me Seriously  
Momma Green: I Am Very Confused And I Dont Want To Become More Confused  
sans: im sans. sans the skeleton kiddo  
sans: and i dont know why you keep calling me aradia  
bees on my dick: yeah aradiia left thiis chat and 2an2 replaced her  
Momma Green: I Am Once Again Asking For You To Be Quiet  
bees on my dick: ur mom  
Mylittlehomie: Hello people, can I actually talk about my issues without you morons ruining it?  
Momma Green: Is Sans The Skeleton A Movie Character  
Mylittlehomie: Hello?  
sapphicwitch: No, he was in that video game Dave made me play. Undertale, I think?  
supercodplayer1995: here lemme send a pic  
supercodplayer: heykid.jpeg  
mylittlehomie: Fuck this shit.  
Momma Green: Oh I Have Seen Him He Had A Boss Fight Correct  
mylittlehomie: I’m going to go fix my robot.

mylittlehomie has gone offline

bees on my dick: lol pii22baby  
sapphicwitch: Dirk will come back soon. Let’s let him be dramatic for a while.  
sans: heh. hey kid wheres my partner in crime.  
bees on my dick: theyve been onliine all day iidk where they are  
bees on my dick: @PAPYRUS hey  
PAPYRUS: NYEH HEH HEH! IT IS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS!  
PAPYRUS: TALKING SHIT, ARE WE?  
sans: hey bro  
PAPYRUS: HELLO, BROTHER!  
sans: hehehe do you got a… bone to pick with me

PAPYRUS has gone offline

sans: heheheheheh

PAPYRUS is online

PAPYRUS: okay im gonna stop the roleplay thing bc im tired of it rn  
Sans: awww why bro this roleplay is totally… tibula  
bees on my dick: what  
sans: like tubular  
bees on my dick: oh lol

mylittlehomie is online

PAPYRUS: i havent been getting much sleep and seeing all caps is hard rn  
sans: guess you’re receiving… CAPital PUNishment  
PAPYRUS: SHUT THE FUCK UP, SANS!  
PAPYRUS: okay now we are done  
sans: i thought we were brothers  
sapphicwitch: Why haven’t you been sleeping much, (Y/n)?  
PAPYRUS: been staying up hella late  
Momma Green: Why  
PAPYRUS: yeah talking to marvus  
sapphicwitch: Oh?  
Momma Green: Oh?  
bees on my dick: oh?  
supercodplayer1995: oh ?  
mylittlehomie: Oh?  
sans: heh  
mylittlehomie: Holy fucking shit, Aradia, are you still doing that?  
sans: all im doing is your mom  
bees on my dick: oooohhh  
supercodplayer1995: oooohhhhh  
PAPYRUS: oooohhhhhhhh  
mylittlehomie: Sometimes I hate this chat.  
Momma Green: Who Is This Marvus?  
Momma Green: Oh Darling Is That The Man You Were Telling Me About  
sapphicwitch: Yes, the one Gamzee invited.  
sapphicwitch: He and (Y/N) must be getting very close for them to be staying up so late talking.  
PAPYRUS: hes a cool dude  
PAPYRUS: MUCH LIKE ME, THE GREAT PAPYRUS!  
sans: hehehe how...Marvulous  
Momma Green: So You Two Are Good Friends Then  
sapphicwitch: Maybe ‘friends’ is not the correct term?  
PAPYRUS: it is  
PAPYRUS: we’re just friends  
PAPYRUS: nothing else  
supercodplayer1995: wiat wait waist  
supercodplayer1995: whos maruvs?  
supercodplayer1995: *marvus  
PAPYRUS: someone gamzee knows  
PAPYRUS: he added him into a chat rose and i are in and we hit it off ig  
supercodplayer1995: ooooooooh send pic :eyes:  
PAPYRUS: okay okay this is from his instagram  
PAPYRUS: daddy_long_dick.jpg  
mylittlehomie: Oh, Marvus Xoloto.  
Momma Green: Youve Heard Of Him  
supercodplayer1995: HOPY SHIT  
supercodplayer1995: that dude is fukcing hot as hell  
supercodplayer1995: ur just freidns??  
PAPYRUS: Well yeah  
PAPYRUS: he’s a fuckin celebrity  
PAPYRUS: hes way out of my league  
supercodplayer1995: hmmmmmm  
supercodplayer1995: i kinda want a piece of what he’s serving ngl  
supercodplayer1995: lookit his mf chest  
supercodplayer1995: GOD damn  
supercodplayer1995: ooo found his insatgram!!!! wink lets follow  
bees on my dick: roxy liivebloggiing her homewreckiing que2t for clown diick  
sans: heheh kid are you really going to try to fuck a clown  
supercodplayer1995: honk hnk i gues  
supercodplayer1995: also im not trying to homewrek anybody  
supercodplayer1995: i gtg im gonna dm himmm  
supercodplayer1995: bye ;0

supercodplayer1995 has gone offline

bees on my dick: damn ii gue22 2he2 really goiing two fuck the clown  
sapphicwitch: Dirk, do you know of him?  
mylittlehomie: Yeah. He’s pretty well known in the rap industry.  
mylittlehomie: More specifically, the juggalo rap industry.  
Momma Green: I Have Seen Him In A Few Articles Now That I Think About It  
Momma Green: You Said Gamzee Knows Him  
Momma Green: Do You Mean Personally  
PAPYRUS: yeah i do  
PAPYRUS: purplebloods gotta stick together i guess  
mylittlehomie: Also, Marvus is very famous among trolls and many humans.  
mylittlehomie: He probably attends Clown Church, which, as we know, Gamzee’s dad(?) is the leader of.  
mylittlehomie: Gamzee has his own considerable amount of followers due to that. Online and occasionally in real life.  
mylittlehomie: Influential purplebloods gotta stick together.  
PAPYRUS: i dont think ive met gamzee’s dad in all the time ive known him  
Momma Green: He Is Very Intimidating  
Momma Green: And Large  
PAPYRUS: what kinda large :eyeballs:  
Momma Green: He Is Ten Feet Tall And Has A Very Imposing Figure  
PAPYRUS: sexy, cant wait  
bees on my dick: so we ju2t have two clownfucker2 now  
sans: heh  
PAPYRUS: i am NOT a clownfucker  
PAPYRUS: i just appreciate a beautiful man when i see one  
PAPYRUS: and right now from what im gathering, gamzee’s dad is a beautiful beautiful man  
Momma Green: He Is A Very Scary Man Actually  
bees on my dick: yeah from what iive gathered that dude iis like a horror moviie viillaiin  
PAPYRUS: i mean, ive always liked those  
bees on my dick: on alterniia hiis job was two kiill troll2 who 2tepped out of liine for the condesce  
PAPYRUS: so hes got influence huh :eyes:  
PAPYRUS: imma be living that sugar baby life  
sans: heh hey kid watch out they might ask for feet pics  
PAPYRUS: ill make that sacrifice  
PAPYRUS: plus its not THAT bad...for the least part  
sapphicwitch: Well, I wish you luck on your clown wooing. Although Roxy seems to be on the same path as you.  
PAPYRUS: yeah  
bees on my dick: ooooh  
bees on my dick: 2omeone got le22 confiident  
bees on my dick: you 2ure you two are ju2t friiend2????  
PAPYRUS: yeah i am  
PAPYRUS: hes like not even flirting with me at all and its been a few days so i would know by now  
sapphicwitch: So what you’re saying is,  
sapphicwitch: One of the reasons you don’t consider yourself more than friends, is because HE’S not flirting with you?  
sapphicwitch: So if he was, you WOULD be more than friends?  
PAPYRUS: uh  
PAPYRUS: well idk marvus is like a cool famous dude and he told me he gets hit on all the time  
PAPYRUS: so maybe he just wants a friend either way  
Momma Green: But Youve Been Consistently Texting For Days Now  
PAPYRUS: yeah like. for hours at a time  
sapphicwitch: Trust me, I’ve been where you are right now and what I’m saying is,  
sapphicwitch: Take a chance. Maybe he desires your attention like you desire his.  
sapphicwitch: Tell him you’re interested in a relationship surpassing just a friend status.  
PAPYRUS: i mean idek if i am and  
PAPYRUS: oh gtg  
sans: whats up kid  
bees on my dick: diid he text you  
PAPYRUS: maybe :shame:  
Momma Green: That Confirms Our Suspicions So Go Ahead And Respond To Him  
PAPYRUS: im going to but ALSO we are just buddies  
PAPYRUS: don't make it weird and rose don't mention this to him  
PAPYRUS: or roxy  
PAPYRUS: bye yall :)  
sans: hehehe bye bro  
PAPYRUS: GOODBYE, BROTHER. I MUST ATTEND TO MY DUTIES AS A TRAINING MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD!

PAPYRUS has gone offline

bees on my dick: okay iif they don’t fuck marvus roxy wiill  
Momma Green: I Really Do Hope This Doesn't Turn Into Some Highschool Drama  
Momma Green: Both Are Very Good Friends And I’d Hate For It All To End Over Some Boy  
sapphicwitch: Roxy may give off the impression she would get catty over romance, but I can assure you she won’t.  
sapphicwitch: What is more likely to happen is Roxy pursues Marvus, and with her usual charm, will become his friend, and therefore try to become his girlfriend.  
sapphicwitch: Meanwhile, (Y/n) will remain silent about how they feel, and it will make things one-sidedly awkward.  
Bees on my dick: but iis marvu2 gonna be iintere2ted iin roxy  
Momma Green: Rose Is Right Roxy Has A Strange Charm To Her  
sans: heheheh well all we can do now is see how it plays out  
bees on my dick: ii gue22 2o


	3. READER: OPEN MARVUS'S DM

\---OPEN DM---

Marvus: heyyy ;o)  
(Y/N): heyy marvus :)   
(Y/N): whats up   
Marvus: just wonderin how ur doin an all dat  
Marvus: havent hit u up since yesterday   
(Y/N): yeah its been a little bit  
(Y/N): i missed you   
Marvus: aw shit babe i missed u 2 :o)  
Marvus: been real chillaxed today gettin kinda antsy  
(Y/N): is something up?  
(Y/N): have you had faygo yet?  
Marvus: hex yea ive had some of that wicked shizz  
Marvus: what i mean is i ben at my sick ass hive  
Marvus: n i be cravin somethin 2 DO  
Marvus: decided to communicate w u seein as you cheer me up n shizz  
(Y/N): i do?  
(Y/N): wow :flushed: what an honor  
(Y/N): but thats really sweet marvus  
(Y/N): i like talking to you  
(Y/N): you cheer me up too  
Marvus: :o)  
Marvus: whats you been doin then   
(Y/N): well so far ive just been hanging around my house  
(Y/N): i havent done much today  
(Y/N): but thats the same for everyday  
(Y/N): fuck i need to get out more  
Marvus: dam i kno how that feels  
Marvus: i do a lot of the same mf bizniz u get me  
Marvus: be writin and recordin and havin 2 check my social mediaz  
(Y/N): i feel kinda bad for only knowing you because of gamzee  
(Y/N): yknow cuz youre really talented  
(Y/N): i dunno, i just wish i couldve gone out to one of your shows  
Marvus: aw damn you aint gotta feel that way  
Marvus: its actually pretty sick ur interezted in my shows now  
Marvus: shizzzz  
Marvus: ill getchu sum tikets  
(Y/N): awww marvus you dont have to do that!  
(Y/N): i can pay for one yknow,,  
Marvus: nah im gonna give u the hookup  
Marvus: get u in da front row   
Marvus: take you backstage n give a mf TOUR uhearme !!!  
(Y/N): we havent even met yet! how do you know im not a murderer  
Marvus: wut like i aint deal w those be4  
(Y/N): what  
Marvus: also i KNOW ur chill as fuxx  
Marvus: you got the vibes  
(Y/N): lmaoo you dont even know what i LOOK like  
Marvus: i trust you   
Marvus: w all my blood pumper :o)  
Marvus: an i bet ur fine as fxxx babe  
(Y/N): thanks  
(Y/N): but get ready to be hella disappointed  
Marvus: nawww no way i cud be  
Marvus: every1 looks good in some way  
Marvus: cept that blue blooded motherfxxxer been clownfest blacklisted  
(Y/N): blue blood???  
(Y/N): who??  
Marvus: shiii his name dont matter  
Marvus: hopefully u aint ever runnin into his creep ass  
Marvus: hey  
Marvus: howz abt u send a selfie :o)  
Marvus: shizz even things out i can send one 2  
(Y/N): you sure????  
(Y/N): eh,,, fuck it  
(Y/N): little picture hasnt hurt anybody  
(Y/N): [selfie.png]  
Marvus: see   
Marvus: i told you that u probz fine as hell  
Marvus: n i wuz right !  
Marvus: dammm youre cute babe ;o)  
(Y/N): oh pleeease!!!!   
(Y/N): im fuckin a 6/10 at MOST  
(Y/N): im not that cute  
Marvus: you cant fool me :o) i saw ur face with my own sightballs  
Marvus: and i know a cute buddie wen i see one   
(Y/N): aww you flatter me too much  
(Y/N): yknow what  
(Y/N): cant just give you that for free  
(Y/N): i sent a selfie, your turn  
(Y/N): equal trade  
Marvus: aw yea ofc   
Marvus: [juggz.jpeg]  
Marvus: there u go   
(Y/N): if im cute then damn  
(Y/N): :flushed:  
(Y/N): we have a fuckin angel  
Marvus: haha shizz  
Marvus: thats one i havent herd  
Marvus: im gettin u tix to my next show asap  
Marvus: by asap i mean rn uhearme  
Marvus: ttyl babe   
(Y/N): oh shiiiiit  
(Y/N): ttyl :)

Marvus has gone offline

\-- marvxofficial: New message from poprox on Instagram --


	4. MARVUS: OPEN POPROX'S DM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is from marvus's pov ! shoutout to my wonderful moirail and co author btw

\---OPEN DM---

poprox: heyyy  
poprox: ;)

marvxofficial: hey

poprox: omg u replied  
poprox: hii !! um im not a creeper btw lol

marvxofficial: lol thats good 2 know

poprox: well maybe im a creeper?? i know gamzee and he knows u  
poprox: maybe thats weird oops

marvxofficial: well any frien o gamzz iz a frien o mine :o) 

poprox: oh cool !  
poprox: so u make music rite?? i listened to some of ur stuff and it was really good  
poprox: i really like the ep u released a few years back

marvxofficial: thanks lil mama   
marvxofficial: didnt think peeps knew that 1 tbh  
marvxofficial: wuz a lil underground

poprox: aw yeah my friend played it for me once and i ended up buyin it lol  
poprox: tbh the parts where u talked abt the empress on alternia were RLLY good

marvxofficial: thanks b  
marvxofficial: whatz ur name lil mama?

poprox: oh im roxy :) roxy lalonde

marvxofficial: marvus :o) marvus xoloto  
marvxofficial: lolz u already knew that

poprox: yea but like NOT in a creepy way  
poprox: the friend who played ur music said it and also gamz did

marvzofficiall: i know u aint a creep   
marvxofficial: n like i said  
marvxofficial: any frien o gamzz iz a frien o mine :o)

poprox: aw :0 tbh u seem very chill  
poprox: not that i didnt think you would be but its nice 

marvxofficial: itz fine  
marvxofficial: i know sum peeps aint nice 2 their fanz  
marvxofficial: but i gotta giv credit 2 some1 that remembers that ep

poprox: oh ty !! but i gotta give credit 2 u for making it  
poprox: sometimes good music can b hard to find

marvxofficial: aww shizzzz  
marvxofficial: ur 2 sweet lil mama

poprox: nah im just sayin  
poprox: :)  
poprox: okay so i don't wanna bore u with talking abt ur AMAZING music im sure ppl do that all day   
poprox: even if u deserve it

marvxofficial: itz all cool lil mama  
marvxofficial i don mind talkin bout my music  
marvxofficial: alwayz good 2 know a fanz thoughtz

poprox: wellll can i kno ur thoughts on other stuff??

marvxofficial: sure :o)

poprox: okayyy so  
poprox: if u were stuck on a desert island


End file.
